The 12 Biggest Insecurities You Face + How to Overcome Them
We’re all followed by the silent shadows of insecurities. These insecurities live within the confines of our minds, casting doubts on our self-worth and our abilities. The deeply rooted fears and uncertainties continue to haunt even the most confident person you know. We all experience insecurities as this is an intrinsic part of being human. After all, no one is perfect.
Our insecurities are what makes us human and at times, they can play in our favor and give us that last push, but other times, they can work against us and cast dark shadows in the corner of our minds that hold us back.
In this article today, I’m going a little deeper and talking about the reasons why we feel insure along with the most common insecurities we all face in our everyday lives and how we can overcome them to live a confident life.
What are Insecurities?
When I say “insecurities” what comes to mind? Is it your low self-esteem? Or the way you look? Well, insecurities are our internal emotional struggles; the kind that comes from a lack of self-assurance. These insecurities often concern various aspects of our lives such as physical appearance, talents, relationships, achievements, and even our social status.
Our insecurities, if left unchecked, can turn into anxiety and even depression. All the messy internal emotional struggle can manifest in the outer world, making us hold ourselves back from doing our best and reaching our full potential.
Let’s learn why people feel insecure.
Why Do You Feel Insecure?
Various reasons can contribute to the feelings of insecurity within. One can be the social comparison we’re constantly subjected to. In this day and age, where social media prevails and where we’re hyper-connected with each other, there’s always somehow room for comparison. The constant comparing yourself to others can breed insecurities and make you feel like while others are being successful and happier, you’re stuck in the same unhappy place. (Even if it’s not truly true)
In other ways, childhood experiences, upbringing, and early life experiences can also play a role in shaping your self-esteem and confidence. Negative early life experiences such as lack of encouragement from primary caregivers, for instance, can leave a long-lasting impression on your psyche, making you more susceptible to insecurities.
Coming back to social media and its influence, it’d be safe to assume that because of unrealistic physical standards and societal expectations set by media have also created a distorted sense of self-perception. This negative self-perception can also lead to feelings of insecurity about your appearance and talents.
Other common causes of insecurities can include;
- Losing a loved one at an early age
- Experiencing a traumatic event
- Having poor self-esteem
- Lack of stable influence
- Unhappy childhood experiences
- Emotional, mental, or physical abuse
- Neglect or abandonment
List Of Common Insecurities And How To Overcome Them
1. “I’m not attractive.”
One of the most common and biggest insecurities we face is the one related to our physical appearance. Growing up, I was always told to watch my weight otherwise I won’t find a good partner, and my insecurity about my physical appearance grew because of the countless TV shows and movies portrayed that only a lean and slim woman got her happy ending.
Your insecurities might also be born in this way and while you may not feel attractive, it’s OK. The society we live in places a huge amount of pressure on physical appearance than internal beauty. For once, listen to your heart and not to the pressure society puts on you.
2. “I’m fat.”
Another biggest insecurity that many women and men face is the thought that they are too fat. Again, this insecurity is also connected to the first insecurity on our list. Society puts a lot of pressure on being thin and lean when the focus should be on being fit. Unfortunately, the media represents the voice of the mass and the mass says that one should “look slim” to feel attractive.
You should keep in mind that your physiology is not always in your hand. When it comes to body shape, medical factors can play a role in it too, so allow room for some genetics and medical issues!
3. “I’m too old to try something new.”
This is one insecurity that hits home at some point. When you’re in your late 20s, 30s, or 50s; the thought that you’re too old to try something new always makes you feel insecure. Now, there’s nothing wrong with trying something new at your age – whatever it may be.
However, it’s always in the back of your mind that you might get hurt if you do something that is not comfortable in your language. Know that it’s just that – a thought. You’re never too old to try something new once you put your mind to it.
4. “I don’t have friends.”
In the age where most importance is given to quantity over quality, it’s common to think that you have no friends. I have only a handful of friends who are super important to me and I’m OK with it now.
In my university days, I used to think that having only a few friends means that there was something wrong with me or my ability to make friends, but now when I’m older and wiser, I’ve realized that it’s not about how many friends you have, it’s about what kind of friends you keep.
5. “I don’t make money as my peers do.”
Even now, I feel like I’m financially stuck in a phase where what I make is never enough to count. And let’s be real now; some careers pay well, while others just don’t. It’s a fact as true as anything else.
Trust me when I say that your college degree will not ensure that you get a good-paying job. Just because you are not earning enough (or as much as others) doesn’t mean you’re any less. What you are and what you earn should be good for you and only you.
6. “I’m no one important to anyone.”
This is one of the biggest insecurities I have still. I feel like I’m not important to anyone and if I leave this world today, no one will miss me much. But believe it or not, that’s not true. If I truly allow myself to self-reflect, I can say confidently that if I cease to exist today, the life I have created with my loved ones will crumble.
So, if this is your big insecurity too, then know that you’re not alone and someone in this world does care about you, even if it seems otherwise. You are important to many people and if you don’t believe me, ask around!
7. “I’m not as smart as others.”
I’ve always been told that I’m “book smart” but not “street smart” and it might be true but it’s also caused me to feel insecure about myself. Many people have never been to college and yet are successful in their own ways and then some people have been to Ivy League schools and yet are not doing as well as they thought they would be. Smartness doesn’t come from going to college or earning a degree. It comes from earning skills and honing your abilities, so believe in them!
8. “I will never move ahead in life.”
Another big insecurity that many of us have in life is that we’ll never move ahead in life, no matter what we do. When I say that promotions – in life, at work, etc. – are not freely handed, trust me. You might work your way up and yet you won’t find yourself moving forward. That’s life, it happens. It’s important to understand that this insecurity is just that and if you let it question yourself, then you won’t ever feel fulfilled or successful.
9. “Everyone is talking negatively about me.”
Who doesn’t feel this!? I still feel that when I walk into a room, people stare at me and talk about me behind my back. It’s something that has always made me feel rejected and judged, and these feelings ultimately only fueled my anxiety and fear. But what we fail to realize is that these talks are all in our heads, literally. Just because others are talking about you, doesn’t mean that it’s all negative. Who knows? They might be talking about how pretty and confident you look!
10. “My partner doesn’t love me anymore.”
Age is a part of life and there are times when you feel like your age. This takes us back to the physical insecurities where feeling not attractive can make you think that your partner doesn’t love you anymore or isn’t attracted to you. This biggest insecurity can make men and women feel anxious and depressed, and at the end of the day, question their partner’s love for them.
11. “I cannot do better than this.”
If you struggle with low self-esteem then you’ll be familiar with this insecurity. Not just self-esteem but if you’ve been a victim of abuse – emotional, mental, or otherwise – then the way you’re treated can make you feel insecure about your relationship. Victims of abuse are often conditioned to feel lucky they have someone and this makes them feel like they have what they deserve and can’t do better than this. Which is not true, though.
12. “I will never find the right partner for me.”
If you’ve been on bad dates and had a string of unlucky relationships, then this can be one of the biggest insecurities you face about relationships. You feel like you’ll never find the right partner because of your negative experiences in dating. Moreover, societal pressure about having kids and “settling down” can also weigh you down and make you feel like you’ve wasted your life and now you won’t ever find the right person.
How to Overcome Your Insecurities?
Here are some practical tips that can help you overcome your biggest insecurities;
1. Identify Your Insecurities:
The first step to overcoming your biggest insecurities is to first know which insecurities you need to address. When you acknowledge your insecurities, then you can understand the cause of such feelings and then take the right steps to overcome them.
2. Challenge Your Negativity:
Next, you need to learn how to replace your self-doubt and negative self-talk with positive affirmations. When you catch yourself being critical, challenge your negative thoughts and remind yourself of your best qualities, strengths, and achievements.
3. Set Realistic Goals:
Everyone has long-term goals so when you’re facing your biggest insecurities, focus on your goals and break them down into smaller ones. Once you accomplish these small and realistic goals, you’ll feel confident and this will help you believe in yourself and overcome your insecurities.
4. Remain Self-Compassionate:
If your insecurities rear their ugly head, stay kind to yourself. Imagine the kind of compassionate words you’d offer your friends if they were in your position and offer the same to yourself. Empathy and understanding can go a long way and remember that everyone has flaws and it’s a part of being you.
5. Embrace Your Vulnerabilities:
Allow yourself to be vulnerable and accept that you’re imperfect and it’s OK. It’s what makes you unique, and your insecurities are a part of it. Share your insecurities with people you trust. It could be your friends, family, or trusted mentors. Talk about your feelings and seek social support.
6. Focus on Your Strengths:
Try to shift your perspective and focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Celebrate your achievements, qualities, quirks, and skills that make you feel good about yourself. That’s what will make you overcome your insecurities.
7. Be Mindful of Your Social Media Use:
More often than not, our insecurities come from comparisons. These comparisons come from excessive social media use. So, monitor your social media use and try to keep it to a minimum. You never know what others presenting are true so avoid comparing yourself to others.
8. Surround Yourself With Positive People:
To overcome your insecurities, try to surround yourself with positive people who uplift your spirits and support you. Positive people can help you feel more secure and confident in your skin.
9. Try Mindfulness and Self-Care:
You can also try to engage in mindfulness and self-care activities to overcome the negative thoughts and feelings that come from your insecurities. Paying attention to yourself can help you reduce stress and promote a healthier self-image.
10. Seek Professional Support:
If your insecurities are making you feel self-doubt and are affecting how you function in your everyday life, then you should consider seeking support from a professional. Guidance from a professional can provide insight and ways to work through your insecurities.
Insecurities are a natural part of being human and it’s important to acknowledge and address them with compassion and empathy. Identifying that we all have the biggest insecurities at some point in our lives can help create a supportive environment. Building self-awareness and seeking help from others can help you overcome your insecurities.
Know that it’s OK to feel vulnerable about your insecurities but it’s also important to recognize your strengths and qualities that make you… you.
I hope this article can help you face your biggest insecurities and overcome them with ease and confidence. Let me know what you think about the article in the comments below.