Self-forgiveness: High time to Heal from Shame and Guilt
For how long you are going to hold the feeling of resentment, retribution, and anger towards someone who believes you did wrong to them. Forgiveness can be defined as letting go of feelings. I know, you were so generous when they did wrong to you and you just simply forgave them, and now things are harder on yourself. Letting go, moving on, and forgiveness for yourself is really important for your wellbeing and mental wellness since everyone makes mistakes. And everyone deserves a second chance. Self-forgiveness is something that comes from inside due to self-love and self-help. Through this blog, I am going to tell you how to practice self-forgiveness in order to heal from shame and guilt.
How to Practice Self-forgiveness?
Self-forgiveness is not only about letting go or forgive. Self-forgiveness is an act wherein you forgive to forget for your inner peace and happiness. Remember, self-forgiveness is not about tolerating the same behavior again or doing the same behavior again. Forgiveness for yourself means, you accept and move on with whatever has happened. It means about your will to move on with the past and life without any kind of rumination over the events of the past that cannot be altered no matter what.
One of the most used and widely accepted approaches for self-forgiveness is the 4 key actions. The 4 R’s for Self-Forgiveness is:
1. Take Responsibility:
If you have made a mistake or someone has done wrong to you, just simply forgive and forget and along with that accept the mistake and show some compassion to yourself.
The first step of self-forgiveness is acceptance. Acceptance is one of the toughest decisions you are going to make but trust me once you accept the flaw or mistake, you will stop justifying or rationalizing the actions which seemed to be unacceptable. Accept because it’s high time to face whatever you have done. It’s high time to stop dwelling in the past.
By doing this, you will be able to avoid negative feelings and emotions such as shame and guilt.
2. Articulate Remorse:
After accepting and taking the responsibility of your mistakes, you are going to experience a lot of negative emotions like shame and guilt (trust me, it is normal). If you have actually done something wrong, even unintentionally, it’s okay to feel guilty about the mistakes. The feelings of remorse and guilt you experience acts as a springboard towards a positive behavioral change.
The great thing about guilt is that it shows you are a sensitive human. So whenever such feelings hit up don’t feel worthless, depressive, or aggressive. Just accept the mistake and show that you are actually guilty about it.
3. Restore trust and repair damage:
The amendment is the most important step of self-forgiveness, even when you are at fault. Forgiving yourself for the mistakes you have done is like self-love or feels like you have earned something great. The only way to self-forgive and move on is to rectify your mistakes and never make them again. Apologize to yourself or the person who is angry with you for the mistake.
The best thing about the amendment is that you never have to wonder again for the same mistake. You will know how to tackle it in the future.
4. Focus on the relationship’s renewal:
Rumination, pity, or self-hatred damages us. Therefore, you should not fall in the trap of rumination and try to maintain your motivation level and self-esteem. You know you grow up when you actually move on trying to fix things.
It helps you to be a better person and comes as a great learning experience.
I hope you like this blog. Comment down and let us know how you practice self-forgiveness. For more such inspirational content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.
Thanks for reading!
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