Why Do I Hate My Family? Dealing With Hard Emotions

Last Update on September 1, 2022 : Published on February 25, 2022
I hate my family

In everyone’s life, there happens to be a situation wherein we begin to hate our family or lose our bond with them. I have heard “I hate my family” from multiple people and the fact is that they are not happy with the hatred, they wish to resolve it.

A close connection like a family cannot be found or established again. However, due to some situations, people start hating their families. If you’re also here to find reasons for “Why do I hate my family”, relax you’ve landed on the right page.

Anthony Brandt appropriately quoted, “Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.” Then, why do you want to run away from your family members? Can’t we focus on forgiveness, moving on, gratitude, or more?

These coping mechanisms can surely help you in mending down the broken relationships again. Keep reading this blog to understand the causes of hate and what to do when you hate your family.

Causes of “I hate my family”

Factors related to “I hate my family” vary upon the situation. Situations can be an abusive relationship, neglect, toxic behavior, conflict, or more.

Before learning how to overcome such feelings, it is really important to understand the causes behind such hard emotions. Below mentioned are some common causes provided in a survey of UK adults who were alienated from their family members or parents:

  • Emotional abuse
  • Conflicting personalities or values
  • Neglect
  • Traumatic family events
  • Different or unrealistic expectations
  • Mental health problem-related issues
  • Poor attachment style
  • Poor boundaries
  • Disregarding emotions or feelings
  • Unreasonable demands
  • No respect of the privacy
  • Not treating family member’s individuality
  • Excessive strictness or control
  • Constant criticism or comparison with others

Signs of Toxic Relationships with Family

When you feel like your family relationship is turning toxic or is already toxic, it can be really emotionally and psychologically challenging. Due to poor relationships or attachments, you begin to hate them.

However, learning signs of toxic relationships with family can help you with a better understanding and coping mechanisms. Below are some common signs of a toxic relationship with family members.

1. Exploited

When high or unrealistic expectations are given by family members, it can convert into hatred.

2. Misunderstood

There is a sign for toxic people that they always show that you’ve misunderstood them to just bring you down.

3. Disrespected

Disrespect comes when you feel like your parents or other family members do not respect your decisions, space, needs, emotions, and feelings.

4. Unsupported

You begin to feel like you’re not supported by your family members is the time when you feel like leaving everything behind. This feeling also leads us to think that they don’t know the real us, they are not even willing to understand you or provide you mental support when you need them.

5. Blamed

When things don’t go according to your planning, your family members begin to blame you or refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

6. Negative

Toxic family members often focus on bringing out your worst part so that they can leave negative comments on you and others can also believe the same.

What to Do When You Hate Your Family?

After understanding the causes and signs behind the hatred towards your family or parents, it’s time to understand what to do when you feel this way. It can be really mentally exhausting or challenging to feel with such hard emotions.

Whether you wish to live with your family or want to maintain limited contact, establishing your mental health and protecting your space should be your priorities.

Here are some coping techniques to adapt when you hate your family.

1. Acknowledge

Begin the process by accepting your feelings without passing any judgment on yourself. Do not blame yourself for such mishappenings, work on self-acceptance, and if possible work on improving relationships with your family.

2. Decide

Clearly, it’s your decision, if you wish to move out of your home or not but before making any decisions, make a plan of each and every step. You can make plans according to your needs, feelings, and emotions. Overall, just try to avoid conflicts with your family.

3. Mend

You can also look forward to mending down the unhealthy relationship with your family members. You can choose to heal if you are willing to trust, communicate, understand, and re-establish the relationship again.

4. Establish

If you’re thinking of re-establish the relationship again, it’s important to set clear boundaries with your family members so that you can live stress-free. Meanwhile, it is difficult to set boundaries with family, just make sure you’re respected.

5. Seek support

If things are not going in your favor, you can also seek individual counseling or family counseling to establish a healthy relationship with you and your family.

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I hope this blog helps you with “what to do when you hate your family.” Comment down your views on the same. For more such content, connect with us on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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