Post-Marriage Depression: Most Ignored And Untreated Reality
Post-marriage depression is actually a thing and one of the most ignored and untreated realities nowadays. Post marriage depression is all about mood swings and after-nuptial blue that a married female goes through. Diana Kirschner, a famous relationship therapist rightly stated, “The whole process of getting married can be one of the biggest highs in the world, from the proposal to the planning of the party. That high can be so intense that when your wedding ends, it can cause a giant and unexpected emotional crash.”
The sudden mood swings make us guilty and it feels like we are an ungrateful monster in this psyched world. To understand this spiral of newlyweds, first of all, we need to figure out how to enjoy our newly married life. This blog covers the reasons behind post-marriage depression and how to overcome the post-bliss blues. So, let’s get started.
Related Read: What is Premarital Counseling
Reasons Behind Post-Marriage Depression
1. You Miss Planning
I felt disoriented after my wedding as before the wedding I loved spending time with my family and fiancé for wedding planning. Before two months of the big day, we kind of developed a routine… wake up, shopping, planning, running errands, sending invites, and everything.
My fiancé and I developed a strong bond during that phase. However, after the wedding everything changed and now we are back to a reality wherein we both go to work, have no time for each other, and that hurts!
Related Read: Establishing healthy boundaries in a new relationship
2. We Never Plan The Next
As I mentioned above, I loved the planning part. I almost planned everything for our wedding. However, I never thought about what next. The day after I got married, I felt like now what… what next? It felt like I was living in a fairytale and now I am being thrown back to reality with a spouse and a lot of responsibilities. Trust me; this hurts because we both don’t know how to take the next step.
3. Missing The Attention
Yes, I lived a fairytale for like a week, everyone treated me like a princess and I got everyone’s attention. And I think everyone loves to be in the spotlight. Living a hyped life freaks everyone out.
Additionally, everyone checks in on you regularly. After that, I felt like why am I not getting anyone’s attention? What is wrong with me? I felt so selfish that time and this resulted in guilt. And, it took a lot of time to be more grounded again.
4. Reality Hurts
As per me, getting married is not only an establishment of two souls together. Marriage comes with responsibilities also. After the wedding, you have to come back to the reality wherein you have to wake up early, do everyday work, return to the corporate desk, get back home, cook dinner, and this cycle has no end. In the beginning, going back to reality hurts, however, after some time it begins to feel normal.
5. Silence And Violence
Talking about this point is important as the numbers are high and we really need to spread awareness regarding this. Perpetual violence can make a female not want to engage in social activities and this makes the woman isolated.
This results in anxiety and stress which causes depression. People often label this phase as an “adjustment phase” wherein the word adjustment becomes female-centric.
Related Read: Dealing with infidelity in a relationship
Overcoming Post-Marriage Depression
1. Acknowledge The Feelings
While we try to get back to reality, we tend to ignore our feelings (which are wrong as it leads to more stress and depression). We need to acknowledge the feelings so that our mental health does not suffer anymore and we stress can be relieved from our mind.
Related Read: 10 Key Secrets to a Successful Marriage
2. Build Resilience
3. Accept The Reality
Accepting reality and going back to normal is the only way that can help you overcome post-wedding blues.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you fight stress and anxiety. To practice mindfulness, you can take the help of:
- How to take a mindful coffee break
- Pebble doodling for mindfulness
- RAIN- Mindfulness tool to deal with your overwhelming emotions
- Best mindfulness books to learn mindfulness
5. Ask For Support When Required
If you’re still not able to go through this phase, consider getting professional help. Remember, asking for support is not a sign of weakness. To connect with a certified mental health provider from BetterHelp, click here.
I hope this blog helps you to learn about post-marriage depression in brief. Comment down and let us know which way you’re going to use for overcoming post-marriage depression. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.
Thanks for reading.