5 Effective Ways To Deal With A Toxic Marriage

Last Update on August 3, 2022 : Published on March 10, 2021

I always wondered, “What is a toxic marriage?” Does it cause stress, does it cause a problem between the two, is it the reason behind so many fights, and how to know if your marriage is toxic? Until I saw one! So, I recently got married and one of my best friends also got married in the same month.

One day, we met for lunch and she was so devastated due to her marriage. I asked her the reason behind her suffering and stress. With gritty teeth, she told me that wants to leave her husband due to some personal issues in their relationship. I was so shaken, at that time, I only replied to her, “leaving is not always the best resolution.”

Related Read: Post-marriage depression: Most Ignored and Untreated Reality

Marriages are full of ups and downs and the one who manages both situations leads their life as a successful marriage. At that time I didn’t know what to do, but later I found some effective ways to deal with a toxic marriage. Fortunately, she applied those ways, and right now, the couple is living a romantic and positive life.

This blog covers five effective ways to deal with a toxic marriage. So, let’s get started.

What is a Toxic Marriage?

A toxic marriage can be defined as a chronic situation wherein there is so much going with your physical, emotional, and mental health. The issues with your partner are so complicated that you’re not able to resolve them alone. Common examples of toxic marriage are adultery, substance abuse, physical abuse, and desertion.

Signs That Show You Are In A Toxic Marriage

  • You have a feeling that your opinions and thoughts are in mute mode. And that silence is killing you from inside.
  • You feel like you do not have any control over your decisions.
  • Compromise and adjustments are one-sided.
  • Setting boundaries leads to ignorance.
  • Your partner takes you on a guilt trip or self-sabotage for dissolving your efforts.
  • Your marriage has more secrets and less communication.
  • Your partner tries to disempower your individuality by isolating you from other social networks.
  • Your partner keeps on violating your personal space and privacy.
  • If there’s anything to strife, they deflect your responsibility.
  • You feel so insecure with your partner.
  • Your marriage is highly chaotic, volatile, and argumentative with your partner.
  • You feel like your partner is always high for making a score above you.
  • Instead of obsoleting problems, sex or intimacy is suffering.
  • Your partner is hyper-critical towards you.
  • You don’t feel good vibes which are resulting in the loss of your charm.
  • You have different points or values which are not working anymore in your marriage.
  • You have depressive symptoms because of on-going issues.
  • You constantly feel exhausted or anxious.
  • Sometimes, you get thoughts of cheating on your partner.
  • You have a feeling that your partner always plays a victim.
  • You do not knock your partner’s head anymore for emotional support.
  • You spend more time with others than your partner.
  • You feel like your partner is passively-aggressively manipulating you.
  • Your partner does not discuss with you before making any important decision.

5 Effective Ways to Deal with a Toxic Marriage

1. Accept and Deal

As I mentioned above, leaving can never be a solution. Therefore, you have limited choices to make; acceptance is one of the best choices you can take to make your toxic marriage a successful marriage. Judgment and criticism will only lead to stress and loneliness. If you’re still thinking to leave them, think about the stress, sadness, loneliness, and lack of love you’re going to experience after taking such a step in the heat of the moment.

I can tell you, you can block them, pretend that they are not bothering you, or deny their existence. These tactics used for resistance will never protect you. Instead, these will result in mental health issues.

The only thing you can do is to accept the way it is and work together to make it successful. Acceptance does not mean that you will step into a life of misery. It simply means that you’re focusing on working this out and opening the door to wisdom and compassion.

Also Read: Communication And Mental Health: Why Is It The Key To Mental Wellness

2. Avoid the Negative Energies

There might be some instances wherein your partner may have accused you of things that you didn’t even do. Or they might tell you that you’re the reason behind all the negativity. This is not at all true, don’t take this by heart.

And understand, you are or were never responsible for someone’s drive of emotions. Never suffer because of their feelings of emotions. All I am asking you to focus on building your relationship strong and whenever negative energy strikes remove it with the same speed and velocity.

Remember, you’ve got this and you don’t need negative vibes.

Also Read: How to Deal With Negative Comments Mindfully

3. Stand up for Truth and Your Marriage

Your partner might accuse you of the things that you didn’t even do! Therefore, don’t drink that poison, stand up for yourself. Do not do anything in the heat of the moment. While you stand for the truth, keep the proofs with you.

Additionally, if you’ve hidden something from your partner or you’ve been lying to your partner about something. Remember, lying or hiding is very stressful and poisonous for the marriage.

Also Read: Establishing Healthy Boundaries In A New Relationship

Therefore, tell the truth. Don’t be afraid of judgment or criticism. And whenever you tell the truth make sure you do it more positively, calmly, in the right moment, and without hurting your partner’s feelings. In this situation, communication skills must be on point.

4. Do not Let The Anger Drive Your Marriage

Silence in a relationship can literally kill the roots of the relationship. Similarly, anger and steps taken in anger cannot resolve problems, instead, it increases the problems. And always remember, anxiety and anger weaken the body.

Do not take steps while in anger, wait for the moment when you both are calm, talk effectively, be a good listener, accept your faults, and resolve everything out. But, don’t take steps while in anger, just don’t!

5. Be Kind to Yourself and Your Partner

Self-forgiveness and kindness make mercy. Therefore, allow your marriage to have dynamic communication, avoid jealousy or fear.

Also Read: How To Deal With Jealousy In A Relationship?

Just be kind to yourself and your partner, listen to all the problems, change them if required, take necessary steps, and make your relationship work before thinking to leave. Remember, leaving can never be a solution.

Message from the Author

Every marriage has problems, mine too have! But, I don’t define it as “toxic” instead I define them as “things we need to work on.” And, we both actually make efforts to make it work.

The secret ingredient of a successful marriage is all about making continuous efforts.

If you still believe that your marriage problems are major, complicated, and cannot be resolved. Consider couple therapy or counseling sessions.

Start Your Counseling Now

I hope this blog helps you to deal with a toxic marriage. Comment down and share your experiences with us. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!

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About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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