Team Parenting: Raise Your Kids The Calm Way
The fact is western culture has forgotten the effective way of parenting. One day, while having a coffee break, a parenting thought came into my mind. Parenting has taken a whole new form in these 10 years and I questioned myself…with the new parenting styles, could children be more respectful and helpful…is the new parenting style that effective?
In order to research more in this area, I started spending more time with moms, infants, and children. I used to watch their actions. And after spending a lot of days, I found this really amazing technique of parenting which was also once embraced by the Western culture but somehow forgotten. I personally believe that this approach is going to serve as a saviour for parents who are in need to teach skills to their children. The effective approach of parenting is termed “TEAM” parenting.
Team parenting helps in minimizing conflicts and fostering cooperation. Team parenting is all about effective, calm, and gentle parenting. Team parenting can also be defined as a pervasive method that allows parents to be involved in the parent-child relationship.
Related Read: What is Positive Parenting?
Four main elements of team parenting:
- Minimal interference
Team parenting does not work on the basis of nagging or bribing. It’s all about motivating kids to do better. Team parenting is about relating with your children in such a way that helps in building self-sufficiency and confidence.
The western parenting system makes kids anxious and in turn, makes our life harder. The reason behind this is that the children go against our instincts and do not know how to work with full collaboration. Meanwhile, team parenting teaches teamwork, collaboration, and autonomous exploration which help them in better learning.
Related Read: Style of parenting and their impact on children
Roots of “Team” Method of Calm Parenting
Calm is that sense which is felt by internal composure. Calmness lets our body function with our best capabilities. Calm means living in a zone with no distractions or distress. In simple words, a calm body is a calm mind. Talking about “team” calm parenting, there are two ways to handle a child:
“Tony, could you please calm down!”
In a screaming way, “Time out!” and sit down by facing a wall.
The first way is a top-down approach to team parenting.
The second-way bottom-up approach of western culture parenting.
Now, wisely think which way is more harmful and which way is more helpful. Team parenting allows you to have a strong child-parent relationship. Meanwhile, other parenting styles somehow weakens the bond.
Choice vs. Structure
During my research, I visited a café wherein I observed a family entering a café for breakfast. The family found an empty table of four and the mother asked her son…where do you want to sit? And the boy replied…I don’t know mommy! The boy looked really tired and sleepy.
The mother gave him all the four choices and still, the boy didn’t know where he wanted to sit in the café. Later, they were ordering food; mom asked him, “What do you want to have honey?” Still, he was blank while watching videos on his phone. Literally, this whining continued by the time the family left the café. And that time, I remembered that at my age, we used to eat everything without whining about the food.
I agree that the parenting styles have been changed but with the help of the team method, we can still remove this mental exhaustion from our life.
Anxiety and Overscheduling
There is too much technology, there are too many toys, and children have too many choices to make. However, the team method of calmer parenting says the community is what the brain most requires for proper growth and skills.
I personally believe that children are so in need of gaining skills from the living communities for helping them to learn empathy and effective communication skills. If you will overschedule the life of your children, they might not have healthy and productive adulthood. As children need playtime as well for the development of core-brain skills.
Research shows that if you will schedule your children’s day with so many activities, they are probable to experience anxiety and stress even during the growth phase.
Related Read: Effective Parenting Tips for a child with ADHD
Children with excessive vigilance might have impaired capability to self-protect or self-soothe. So, one sunny day I was walking in the park and I saw a little girl with her mom in a stroller. Mom applied sunscreen on her daughter to protect her from the rays! This example might look funny to you but today’s children are actually victims of over-protection. Science says that it is important for children to be exposed to an open environment so that they can develop a strong immunity. And, over-protection can literally stimulate these fears!
Indeed, being a parent is the toughest job. However, with the help of a team parenting style, you can help your children grow more positively. If you’re still not able to connect with your child, consider booking an appointment with a family therapist or counselor. To connect with a certified counselor from BetterHelp, click here.
Related Read: Parenting Counselling
I hope this blog helps you to understand the “team” method of calmer parenting. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.
Thanks for reading.
Please honor the author of the T.E.A.M. approach, Michaeleen Doucleff, by acknowledging her work and book: Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans