What Is Positive Parenting & How Can It Encourage Personal Development In A Child?
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What Is Positive Parenting?
Positive Parenting is an approach built on communication & mutual respect. It means, as a parent, we should handle our children as individuals & not take them as our property. The approach focuses on learning, for the future instead of punishing them, for the past occurrences. Positive Parenting doesn’t only involve teaching children just What but also Who, Where, When & Why of a situation.
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Let’s discuss the whole concept of Positive Parenting through an example:
James’ 9 years old son Harper comes to him with a problem. Mason, his school friend, who is three years older than him took his Chocolate & a change from a ten-dollar bill at the candy shop. James listens to Harper’s situation & hears his son’s frustration & anger. When Harper was done yelling, James asks him how he wants to handle the whole scenario. Harper tells him that he wants to antagonize Mason, but he should be around him.
Also, throughout the conversation, James did not mention that, Harper did the wrong thing by taking money from his wallet without permission. Nor did he talk about Harper eating sweets when he’d been restricted to eat limited quantity with permission.
Three hours later, James stands by Harper as he confronts Mason, asks him to pay his remaining change back. Mason’s dad overhears the conversation & makes Mason give the full amount to Harper for his suffering. When the duo (James & Harper) comes back to their house, James tells him how proud he is at how Harper handled the situation on his own.
Both sit down & discuss two rules that were broken & how he can avoid making such blunders in the future.
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Here’s a breakdown to the example of positive parenting:
(1.) James listens to Harper & concentrates on the issue carefully. He even offered his support, while Harper handles the whole situation on his own.
(2.) James tried to understand the boy’s feelings & stand for him, before disciplining him about his wrongdoings.
(3.) James kept aside his misconduct & pointed them out at an appropriate point & time.
(4.) James refocuses on their relationship after the consequences were resolved!
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Positive Parenting Techniques To Build Healthy Relationship With Your Kids
Listed are some great tactics that you can follow to practice positive parenting:
1. Remember That You Are The Parent
Being a clear-sighted & compassionate ‘guide’ is way more important than being your child’s friend. Your job is to prepare them for becoming an independent adult. Having just friends with them isn’t enough, they need your moral leadership.
2. Kind & Firm Discipline
One of the most important aspects of Positive Parenting is ‘Respect’ & this should work both ways. Parents need to set some rules & children need to be clear about them, from a very early age. This helps them to build a structure & a routine. Let them adapt to the set boundaries & you’ll find your child not ever fuss about complying with them.
3. Time-Out Yourself
Yes, you heard that right! Being parents, you need to take a time-out yourself when needed. You might get exhausted by your child’s behavior, but you need to calm yourself down & speak to them in a respectful & firm way. Whenever, you feel that you’re about to lose, speak to your child that you need a moment by yourself because you’re upset. You can go to another room & remind yourself about the ultimate goal of ‘disciplining’.
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4. Validate, Empathize & Sympathize
Make sure that your child knows that you’ve heard them. Validating what they need & how they feel. You’ll never be able to successfully get across your point if your child doesn’t feel respected. Nothing is better than having a feeling that ‘Someone is prepared to listen to your side of the story.’ Reassure them that they’ll surely get a fair-minded & sympathetic hearing.
5. Use Positive Reinforcement
Does your child always remember to put their shoes on the rack, after coming back home? Do they help their siblings with their homework, whenever required? Let them know that they are acknowledged! It’s super-easy to comment on the bad behavior but smiling when they did some good job is more important. Make sure they get more attention for their good behavior than bad.
6. Avoid Shaming
Have you ever used words such as, ‘Don’t act like a baby! Your room is always a mess, go & clean it up! Why you can’t do this, it’s not that hard!? These statements bring the shaming effect. Don’t make your child feel bad about themselves. This brings a natural negative impact on their self-esteem. Of course, it’s your job to guide them, but let them know in an appropriate way, without inducing the feeling of disgrace.
7. Keep Consistency & Keep Your Word
Kids are very smart, they hold memories! They’ll get to know very easily if you are not consistent in keeping your words. Don’t make them realize that you are full of empty threats, then it would become difficult for them to listen to you in the future. So, if you promise them something special, keep your word. They’ll remember!
8. Talk At The Kid’s Level
Just get down to their eye level & speak to them face to face with full affection, sincerity & respect. Make them realize that you’re always ready to listen & resolve their problems. Having a person, that always stands by, can certainly create positivity within themselves.
9. Lighten Up!
Jokes & silliness always serves as an excellent distraction. For instance: if your child forgets to pick up the dirty laundry, you could either vent out all the frustration & scold him/her. But a positive parenting tactic says, that making a game out of it like ‘who toss the laundry into the basket, first’ can certainly bring better outcomes.
10. Schedule Frequent Unplugged Time To Enjoy With Your Family
Cook together, eat together, go biking. Whatever, the point is, relaxing together is truly an effective tactic to have long-lasting benefits.
Positive Parenting: A Take-Home Message
Positive Parenting is an effective parenting style suitable for raising kids with Caring, Empowering, Nurturing, Affection, Regular Open Communication, Emotional Warmth, Positivity, Supporting Child’s Best Interest & having Empathy for their feelings!
Considering the listed Positive Parenting Solutions, parents can approach their children with the role of teachers, leaders, role models with optimism & confidence. Applying these techniques, parents can develop strong, meaningful & deep relationships with their kiddos that will last for a lifetime!
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