Reasons Why People Complain And How To Stop Complaining

Last Update on December 22, 2023 : Published on December 23, 2023
easons Why People Complain And How To Stop Complaining

When we stop adjusting, accepting, or managing things accordingly, we start complaining. Do you know that complaining constantly does not help solve problems instead, it increases more problems for us.

For example, suppose a coworker at your workplace always complains about everything… the quality of coffee, the work environment, furniture, almost everything! Will you be able to sit comfortably and work with that person?

No, right! Similarly, when we complain a lot, we not only impact our mental well-being, but we also ruin our relationship, bonding, personality, connections, and whatnot! Are you becoming someone who’s complaining a lot lately, well, worry not, I have got you effective ways to stop complaining and live life positively. So, let’s get started!

Understanding the Psychology Behind Complaining

Complaining often causes a bad mood, frustration, and stress. But, do you know that the stems of constant complaining can also be connected to personality traits.

As per research, people are not able to bond easily or regulate their emotions, and complain a lot which leads to a negative outlook. Now, the question is how do you know if you’re complaining too much these days?

Well, you can begin by noticing small things wherein you start being too focused on the negativity or complaining part. Below listed are some of the common signs of complaining:

  • You start complaining without thinking anything or without finding any solution
  • You’re keeping a ruminator personality these days
  • You’re unable to process your emotions and often regret doing something in the past
  • You’re constantly struggling with the feelings of anxiety
  • You’re constantly irritated by something
  • You’re feeling helpless or hopeless lately
  • You’re surrounded by social negativity

Now, the question arises, why do people complain? Let’s understand this in the next section.

Reasons Why People Complain

Here’s why some people complain constantly:

1. Inability to regulate emotions:

When people are not able to regulate their emotions, they start venting their feelings in an inappropriate manner.

2. Extreme mood swings:

When people experience negative moods, they start complaining more as they are unable to regulate their emotions as well. This can create a negative loop.

3. Certain personality traits:

Certain personality traits such as agreeableness can cause people to complain more, and listen less. Research shows that such people are chronic complainers because their personality traits lie between complaining.

4. Social factors:

Complaining can be toxic and infectious. It can make the whole surrounding contagious. For example, have you ever been in a restaurant, wherein someone started complaining and other people got dragged into complaining automatically?

5. Learner behavior:

When people are surrounded by people who tend to complain a lot, they start imitating and develop complaining habits regularly.

How to stop complaining all the time?

If you think you’re complaining a lot these days, it might be time to brainstorm and renew your thinking pattern towards everything. Below listed ways can help you minimize complaining, reduce stress, promote optimism, and live life positively without complaining:

1. Start journaling

Journaling has its own benefits for overall well-being. If you want to complain, you start writing down your problems in a journal, brainstorm some solutions, and you’ll be able to feel more positive and solution-focused.

2. Seek social support

Connecting with your loved ones is always a great idea because it rejuvenates us from within. Seek social support, talk with your loved ones, and let them help you or seek their advice. If you don’t want to share with your loved ones, you can simply connect, relive old times, and laugh with them.

3. Count your blessings

Gratitude is an instant mood fixer, if you’re feeling stressed lately because a lot of complaining going on, you can fix your frustration by counting your blessings. Herein you can use the 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude and grounding method.

4. Practice optimism

One of the effective ways to stop complaining is to start acknowledging your feelings, act accordingly, and cultivate positivity along. When we promote positivity, we automatically drop off negative habits and start living mindfully.

5. Advocate yourself

Next time, you start complaining without thinking, stop right away, take a moment for yourself, and think. Are you doing the right thing, is your complaint valid, or why are you not willing to manage or accept things as they are? Advocate yourself appropriately and find practical solutions for your problems.

6. Complain for valid reasons

While advocating for yourself, understand that complaining can be a natural emotion, therefore, if you’re complaining for the right reasons or bringing positive change, you might do it but keep it simple, less exhausting, and most importantly don’t cause problems to others and yourself.

7. Avoid being distracted by others

Do you start complaining when you see someone complaining? Well, it’s not the right thing and it’s time to understand the level of toxicity and avoid the surroundings wherein you and others join hands and start complaining. It can have a lot of negative impacts. Therefore, surround yourself with positive people or people who bring positivity to you.

8. Build awareness

If you think complaining has become your regular habit, it’s time to drop this habit right away and become more self-aware about important things. In such situations, take a pause, and reflect so that you can stop complaining and find actual solutions.

9. Seek professional support

Are you complaining a lot lately? Is your complaining habit impacting your mental well-being negatively? Excessive or compulsive complaining can have a lot of impacts on your mental well-being such as depression, anxiety, chronic stress, and other mental health problems. Therefore, connect with a therapist and seek the right assistance.

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I hope this blog helps you understand the reasons why people complain and how to stop complaining. Comment down and share your views on the same or you can also write to us at Calm Sage. For more such content, connect with us through all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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