10 Effective Ways To Stop Taking Things Personally In Your Life

Last Update on October 17, 2022 : Published on October 18, 2022
Effective Ways To Stop Taking Things Personally In Your Life

Do you have a habit of things a tad too personally?

Well, my friend, you’re not alone. I know many people who almost always take things personally even if they have nothing to do with it. And there can be many reasons why this happens, why people take things personally.

Two of the most common reasons can be insecurity and misinterpretation. How someone phrases a sentence and the tone they use to deliver it can also be why you take things personally. When you take things personally, it’s more out of defense than anything else.

This means that you believe your opinions, abilities, and achievements are scrutinized (and not in a good way). This kind of thinking can put you on the defensive and make you take things personally.

While we can’t control what others say, we can control our reactions. You can always choose what to regard and what to disregard. That means you can learn how to stop taking things personally and limit self-deprecating!

Here are 10 effective ways to stop taking things personally!

Ways To Stop Taking Things Personally In Your Life


1. Keep Yourself Busy

When you are too focused on doing nothing, you allow the steady stream of mindless thoughts and emotions into your mind. These thoughts always border on negative and can make you think things that are not true. To stop taking things personally, you need to avoid dwelling on these negative thoughts by keeping yourself busy.

When you keep busy, you have less time to dwell on what others say, and this allows you to not take things personally. You can instead work on other aspects of your life and become productive. One of the best ways to stay busy (but not too much) is through volunteering. You can always help yourself by helping others.

2. Question Yourself

The next thing you need to do is question your thinking. If you find yourself taking things too personally, then question why you’re doing so. Is it because you believe the things being said about you? Or is it because of others’ miscommunication? Question them. It could be your low self-esteem that could be making you take things personally.

You can try to become more mindful of your consciousness and thinking. Learn some self-awareness techniques and become more mindful of your thoughts. This can help you catch negative self-perception and stop them in time. You can also try meditation to train your mind to stop taking things personally at the first glance.

3. Remove Confusion

Another way you can stop taking things personally is by removing confusion. This confusion can come in many ways. Many don’t want to see you accomplished and would give fake motivation or even false cheer. They may also use passive-aggressiveness to minimize your achievements. It might be subtle, but it can be there, bringing you down.

With time, you may even begin to believe in these fake compliments. Instead of giving in to this confusion, try to talk them out with others. Let them know your feelings about their way of communication. If they fail to change their habits, then maybe it’s time to reconsider their company.

4. Improve Your Confidence

One of the reasons why people take things personally is the insecurities they hold in their hearts. Especially the ones that come from past abuse, bullying, or comparing oneself with others. When you feel insecure, it’s common to become too self-conscious and take whatever others say to heart. Low self-confidence can make you more prone to taking things personally.

To avoid this, you can work on improving your self-confidence. Try to practice more self-love and develop a stronger bond with yourself. When you are confident in your place, no words can affect you and give voice to the insecurities in your heart.

5. Understand Your Reaction

Criticism is needed in our lives to truly understand the value of what we do and give to others. Criticism can come in two ways; destructive and constructive. When you receive criticism, don’t fall into it. Many times, people will give negative feedback just to see your reaction. Avoid falling into the trap and understand your reaction.

Focus on what you do. It might be hard to ignore the voices, but once you have a stronghold on your reaction and know that you don’t have to give one, you’ll find those voices fading into the background. Learn that not every criticism is destructive, and constructive criticism can be good for you.

6. Question Your Concern

It’s easier said than done, but when you’re looking for ways to stop taking things personally in your relationships, you need to question your concerns. Why do you care about what others say? Do you care about their opinion, for that matter? While everyone has the freedom to say whatever they want to, it doesn’t mean that you need to let it affect you.

So, the next time you hear something that you think you’re taking too personally, try to question; Is it worth it? In the end, it’s not others who may demean you or define your worth – it’s you.

7. Avoid Assumptions

One of the worst things that can come out of misunderstandings is assumptions. Remember, the tone and phrasing matter. So when someone words their sentences wrong – intentionally or unintentionally – avoid jumping to conclusions and assuming things. It can be easy to take things personally when they are miscommunicated.

When you hear something that doesn’t have a ground or you think it is worded wrongly, pause, and try to decode it before you assume things.

8. Ask For Clarification

To avoid misunderstandings altogether, the best thing you can do is ask for clarification. This will not only avoid misinterpretation but make you stop taking things personally. Don’t hesitate to ask the other person to clarify their words if you think that their phrasing is wrong. This will also make the other person check their tone and phrasing before repeating.

Asking for clarification isn’t rude or hurtful. This step will help you avoid jumping to the worst conclusions and making assumptions as much as it will help the other person choose their words rightly.

9. Understand Yourself

When you’re emotionally self-aware, it can make a difference in your confidence and help you stop taking things personally. Try to understand yourself; what makes you – YOU? What are your boundaries? What are your beliefs and values? Once you know these emotional details about yourself, you become confident and know that no one can hurt you.

You can do this by spending time with yourself, self-reflecting, or seeking a professional’s help to understand how to connect with yourself. When you stay true to yourself, no one can hurt you or make you take things personally.

10. Learn How To Be Assertive

We’re always taught to be kind and compassionate, but sometimes, kindness can work against us. For example, if you’re focused on being too kind, you may forget to be assertive and voice your needs. People take “being assertive” as a negative trait when it is anything but negative. Learn the difference between being kind and being assertive.

Assertiveness can also be an approach that can help you ignore what others say about you. Instead of ignoring them, you can use assertiveness as a weapon and stand up for yourself.

When you’re assertive, you confidently shut down rumors and fabrications made against you. This trait can also help you stop taking things personally because you believe in yourself and don’t need validation from anyone.

Bottom Line

Whatever others say about you, they are not responsible for your feelings or reactions. When you stop seeking validation from them and stop taking things too personally, you take control of your reactions. While everyone has the right to express their opinions, no one can assert those opinions on you.

When you know who you are, you don’t need others’ opinions to give you power; you can do that yourself. It’s time you stop taking things personally and check in with yourself to see what’s causing you to take things personally.

I hope this blog was helpful. For more, you can write to us at info@calmsage.com or DM us on social media. You can also share your tips and thoughts in the comments below.

Take Care!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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