Dating Someone With Anxiety | What You Should & Shouldn’t Do

Last Update on February 21, 2021 : Published on February 20, 2021
Dating Someone With Anxiety

The thought of meeting and dating someone new, someone who could be a potential partner, can be intimidating but more dating and loving someone with anxiety can be more challenging. No one is always prepared to handle something like anxiety in any relationship.

Even so, you shouldn’t let anxiety put a strain on the foundation of your relationship. For dating a partner with anxiety, there are some things that you should know – what to do, what not to do. Understanding and supporting your partner with anxiety shouldn’t come at the expense of your mental health.

Also Read: Beware Of These Little Things That Can Ruin Your Relationship

If your partner is opening up with their anxiety, you should be supportive and sensitive to their feelings. It is not easy for everyone to talk openly about their anxiety. Try to understand anxiety and what it might do to you and your relationship with a potential partner.

Psychologist Dave Carbonell and Dr. Helen Odessky suggest you Keep in mind that;

  • Anxiety is a real and severe mental health problem.
  • Anxiety is normal but it can prevent people from having normal lives
  • Anxiety often brings about a “flight-or-fight” response
  • Anxiety can have unpredictable symptoms and reactions
  • Anxiety is not a weakness or a burden

How Your Partner Anxiety can Affect Your Relationship?

How Your Partner Anxiety can Affect Your Relationship

A person with anxiety can be often found worrying over things that are not in control of them. Illogical thoughts and feelings of insecurity might take up space in their mind quite frequently. For instance, they may think things like:

  • What if I’m unlovable?
  • Is someone lying to me?
  • What if my partner is cheating on me?
  • What if my partner likes someone else?
  • Is my anxiety going to ruin my relationship?

You need to keep in mind that these kinds of questions can plague their mind constantly. These thoughts might cause your partner to feel panic, experience insomnia, or cause physical illness.

The anxiety of a new and budding relationship can also cause them to act irrationally and impulsively. They might:

  • Get irritated and angry
  • Become controlling
  • Have trouble concentrating with one line of thought
  • Act very critical of self and you
  • Avoid confrontation

Checkpoints if You are Dating Someone With Anxiety:

To help understand and support your partner better, you can start by:

1. Asking Questions

Ask Question about partner anxiety

While there are many research articles on anxiety available online, it might not be of much help. Anxiety differs from person-to-person. One person’s symptoms and treatment may not be similar to another. Talk to your partner and ask questions about their anxiety but be sensitive. It is a very personal topic so need to make sure they are comfortable first.

2. Being Observant

It might be that your partner would not want to talk about their anxiety. That is okay but how can you help if you don’t know about it?

Observe. Notice the little things they do or gestures they make when they are anxious. When you start to observe the little things, you might come to understand the triggers that are causing their anxiety to spike.

3. Being Patient

Being Patient

“Patience is a virtueIt is a very essential trait to have when dating someone with anxiety. Being nosey and impatient can ruin a good thing before it even begins. Like mentioned before, talking about anxiety isn’t easy, and it takes time to build trust enough for the other person to open up. Don’t rush into actions with them but give them time and space so they become comfortable around you.

Also Read: The Ultimate Power of Patience: Tips to Develop Patience

4. Being Honest

If your partner is talking with you and asks you a question: don’t balk. Stalling them or lying to them is not going to make their situation okay. It will worsen it. You don’t want them to second-guess themselves and their actions. Be clear and confident when talking to them and don’t ignore their issues as insignificant.

5. Not Taking Things Personally

Anxiety can make people snap at odd times. If your partner snaps at you or is angry at you, it might not be because there is something wrong with you. Anxiety can cause mood swings and you might get caught in the middle of it. Don’t fight or argue with your partner but also don’t ignore them. Try to not take things they might say to heart.

6. Being a Good Listener

Being a Good Listener

Don’t ignore your partner even if they are rambling and even if you’re tired. Ignoring them or telling them that you’re tired when they are talking can cause them to lose confidence. Instead, tell them that you are there to listen if they need to talk and BE THERE for them. Lend an ear to them if they want to talk. Don’t go back on your word.

Also Read: Active Listening and its Benefits

If you are Loving someone with anxiety Instead of taking it as a source of stress take it as an opportunity to understand your partner deeply and their

How to Cope With It:

You can also help them by encourage and supporting them with their therapy. Treatment options such as talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and other approaches can help them.

So if your partner is dealing with anxiety, you can talk to a professional therapist or a counselor on either one of these online therapy platforms or you can write to us at

What NOT To Do To Make Anxiety Worse:

When dating someone who has anxiety, there are somethings that you should never do or say to them. Things such as:

  • Criticizing them over things they do or say
  • Dismissing their anxiety as unimportant
  • Trying to be their therapist
  • Trying to “fix” them
  • Recommending self-medication to them
  • Commenting on their actions and behaviors
  • Pitying them and their conditions
  • Explaining to them that their fear is irrational
  • Making assumptions about their anxiety

Also Read: Things You Should Never Say To Someone With Depression

Final Words

Dating and loving someone who has anxiety can be tough and taxing on them and your mental health as well. When taking care of your partner don’t neglect your mental health. Anxiety doesn’t have to be such a daunting thing. It can also help you understand your partner better and deeper.

If your partner had anxiety, you can help by being calm and empathetic. To help understand them better, you can participate with them in self-care activities to help them feel relaxed. Watching someone you care about suffer can be hard but you need to make sure they understand that they are not a burden on you.

Also Read: Top Free Online Anxiety Support Groups to Join in 2021

Join a support group or talk to other people dating someone with similar problems. Their experiences might give you some insight. Above all, honor their boundaries and respect their choices. It is the best you can do to help your partner.

For additional help and support, you can write to us at

Be compassionate and loving, always!

About The Author

Swarnakshi Sharma
Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm sage, who believes in a healthier lifestyle for mind and body. A fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and help spread awareness on ending the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, she believes in destiny and the power of Self. She is an avid reader and writer and likes to spend her free time baking and learning about world cultures.

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