Do You Avoid Emotional Connections? Learn About Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

Last Update on July 21, 2023 : Published on July 22, 2023
What is Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

Are you someone who avoids emotional connection, attachment, or closeness in your relationships? Do you feel scared about pursuing romantic relationships? Well, if you avoid actively engaging in romantic relationships, you might have a dismissive attachment style.

The specific term for your attachment style can be referred to as dismissive avoidant attachment. According to psychology, this attachment style is the opposite of the anxious attachment type.

In this blog, let us find out what is Dismissive Avoidant Attachment, its impacts, and how to form a better and healthier attachment style.

So, let’s get started!

What is Dismissive Avoidant Attachment?

The dismissive avoidant attachment is a type of attachment style that involves an extreme level of avoidance while forming intimacy or closeness related to abandonment. People with dismissive avoidant attachment try to express avoidant patterns by engaging in distancing strategies whenever intimacy increases.

Generally, people struggling with this type of attachment enjoy being single, they usually date people but they tend to lose interest whenever someone tries to connect emotionally.

Psychologically, this behavior is likely developed due to childhood experiences. When an individual manifests a hyper-independent adult through devaluing connections due to childhood experiences forms a dismissive avoidant attachment. Such individuals are really great at denying feelings and taking sovereignty to higher levels.

Additionally, they are also controlled but at the same time, they struggle with the fear of being hurt which makes it more difficult to open up or bond.

Signs of Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

Below are some common signs of dismissive avoidant attachment:

1. History of unhealthy relationships

People with dismissive avoidant attachment often involve casual relationships as they do not form a deep emotional connection. Such people prefer communication with fewer boundaries in their life. As soon as the other partner starts developing feelings for them, they might start feeling overwhelmed.

2.  Lack of affection

Whenever a dismissive avoidant attachment personality gets into a relationship, they might seem to be normal however, as soon the other partner starts forming a deep bond, they repeat the inconsistent pattern as they are not able to solve their hidden weaknesses.

3.  Constant nitpicking

Whenever a dismissive avoidant attachment personality gets into a relationship, they subconsciously try to sabotage the relationship by picking up on little things such as appearance, habits, or behaviors.

4.  Lack of conflict-solving skills

Since dismissive avoidant attachment personality struggles with a fear of abandonment, they might go cold or intentionally distance themselves from the conflict as they lack conflict-solving skills.

5.  Strong sense of self

One advantage of being a dismissive avoidant attachment personality is that such people really have a strong sense of self which makes them self-reliant and confident. Such individuals know who they are and how they want to accomplish goals in their life.

6.  Constant suppression of emotional needs

People with dismissive avoidant attachment personality lack awareness related to their fears, emotions, needs, and inner demons.

7.  Minimized support and romantic connections

A dismissive avoidant attachment personality secretly wants to be in an exclusive relationship but actively resists making deeper connections with people. As a result, they build strong boundaries that do not provide a meaningful connection to their partners.

What Triggers Dismissive Avoidant Attachment?

Our attachment style totally depends on our vulnerability and emotional intimacy. The attachment style basically activates when we lose a sense of control and seek support from our loved ones or partner. When someone views the world differently and believes that people are not safe or reliable, they are more likely to form dismissive avoidant attachments.

This means when someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment personality gets triggered, they are likely to distance themselves from the support or closeness.

Below listed are some of the common situations that might trigger a dismissive avoidant attachment style:

  • When a partner wants you to open up
  • When someone starts calling or texting you regularly
  • When someone requires a lot of attention from you
  • When someone starts planning future commitments
  • When someone involved in romantic gestures
  • When someone becomes clingy or emotional with you
  • When someone tries to form intimacy or physical contact with you

Causes of Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

After understanding the attachment theory, you might have understood that on the basis of our interactions during the younger age with our parents, we can sense our attachment style. Below listed are some factors that play an important role in the development of dismissive avoidant attachment:

1.  Abusive Relationships

Experiencing abusive relationships can cause dismissive avoidant attachment. Sometimes, physical or verbal manipulation can make people fearful.

2.  Dismissive Parenting

A negative type of parenting can make a child embarrassed. This can result in a dismissive avoidant attachment in adulthood as a coping mechanism.

3.  Genetics

Research shows that nature and nurture both have direct impacts on the development of dismissive avoidant attachments. For example, having a parent with insecure attachment increases the chance of dismissive avoidant attachment.

4.  Lack of Responsiveness

When parents or caregivers are unresponsive or dismissive, the child learns to suppress their needs as they build a fear of being neglected or rejected.

5.  Unmet emotional needs

Unmet childhood needs can develop out of self-preservation. Sometimes, being raised in a middle-class or lower-class family can also develop dismissive avoidant attachment.

How to Overcome Dismissive Avoidant Attachment?

A dismissive avoidant attachment can be overcome and people with dismissive avoidant attachment can still live a meaningful life despite having an insecure attachment, here’s how:

1.  Develop a healthier attachment style

  • Building positive expectations
  • Enhancing the sense of satisfaction within
  • Enjoying connections, relationships, and friendships
  • Developing healthy coping mechanisms

2.  Express your emotions

3.  Be mindful and practice self-care

4.  Consider professional support

  • Working on your past and difficulties faced during childhood or adolescence
  • Connecting with a therapist to explore emotional triggers, avoidant behaviors, or unhelpful behaviors
  • Creating a safe place to discover your attachment style
  • Developing healthy ways to overcome insecure attachment

5.  Learn about your triggers

  • Transforming your attachment style
  • Understanding attachment theory
  • Recognizing unhealthy patterns, and apply the knowledge to overcome unhealthy practices
  • Addressing underlying issues and connect with a mental health professional

6.  Work on vulnerability

  • Expanding your vision
  • Allowing yourself to be more open and flexible in relationships
  •  Communicating your needs with your loved ones
  • Sitting with your emotions, feeling them, and acknowledging them

7.  Take charge of your needs

  • Freeing yourself from the past
  • Learning to control your responses and thoughts
  • Trusting others and building intimacy
  • Making your healing journey positive and enhancing positive attachments

How to Build a Healthier Attachment Style?

If you or your loved one have a dismissive avoidant attachment style, you might love your freedom but at some point, we all want to be in an exclusive relationship or want to connect with our parents or family members. People with this attachment style are able to fall in love but they are not able to form a deeper connection.

In order to build a healthy attachment style, you might have to understand your tendencies and take positive steps in the first place.

Here’s how you can build a healthy attachment style with your loved ones:

  • Be honest while communicating with your loved ones.
  • Set healthy boundaries and expectations with your loved ones.
  • Challenge your tendencies and make conscious efforts to form an emotional connection.
  • Practice mindfulness and start labeling your emotions.
  • Understand the six stages of behavioral change.
  • Seek the help of a professional.

I hope this blog helps you understand the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment style and how to overcome it. Comment down and share your views on the same. For more such content, connect with us through all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!

About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor
Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".

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